Who is this I see

A poem written about a major change in my life that happened not too long ago,

.

Who is this I see,

 Staring back at me,

Can it really be,

 Is it truly me,

 .

What are these blue eyes,

Who did me advise,

They I must chastise,

For showing my eyes,

 .

Why did I decide,

From home to be pried,

Gone is my old hide,

Out of safety pried,

 .

Now I am on show,

I wish I could go,

The people forgo,

I feel a freak show.

. 

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.

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~ by The Lonely Recluse on February 16, 2011.

51 Responses to “Who is this I see”

  1. welcome in…

    haunting and creative piece.
    well done.

    🙂

  2. lovely.. 🙂 here’s mine for week 38.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/09/30/i-cant-hold-it/

  3. The trauma of a lonely recluse being pried out of the shell. The darkness can be so comforting—but it is lonely.

  4. Ohh but I did enjoy this piece! I love the flow and the truth!
    Great work,
    -Roxanne

  5. I prefer poems like this that rhyme well, like lyrics to a song, your voice comes through.

    • Yeah, I prefer poems with strong rhyme scemes too (well most the time). Hence the theme of 5 syllable AABB (or ABAB) structure through most my poetry. I’m glad the words took on a voice for you.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  6. It takes a form of strength to step out of a shell…I’m glad you shared your poem with us.

  7. Love the flow of words. I can relate to your poem so well.
    You’ll come out stronger 🙂

  8. Ahh!!! out in the cold world.. I liked this verse… thanks for sharing…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/01/whispers-wanderer.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  9. very heartfelt … being there … Keep the faith and things will go good! Thank you for your visit to my blog!

    • I’m glad the words transported you and that you enjoyed it. Indeed all things will go good when the faith is kept, yet it still takes time. It was a pleasure visiting your blog.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  10. I took indepth read! Awesome!

  11. A very Nice Poetry..
    Here’s mine STUFF
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/the-democratic-rap/
    !! Happy Rally !!

  12. At times, it is so easy to be a recluse – and takes such courage to move out of its shadows and bonds. Thank you for sharing.

    Here is my first rally entry:
    http://beccagivens.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/unconscious-to-guides/

  13. i always love dark poetry. yours is an awesome read. happy rally!

    cha
    http://chaspalette.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/the-bitter-end/

  14. Bravo. you were able to write about it. lovely

  15. niceee one 🙂
    enjoyed it thoroughly 🙂

  16. I really enjoyed this–especially because of the discomfort you are feeling and the decision to share it. I can relate to being a recluse–I’m pretty happy that way and it would bother me greatly to be shoved into the limelight!

    Hopefully your feelings of being a “freak show” will quickly subside. My best to you.

  17. You did a wonderful job of conveying the pain and fear. I think, at one time or another, we all feel like a “freak show.” I am sorry you experienced being torn from your safety.

  18. last line was the best… “freak show” loved it..though i can feel the sadness with it…

  19. Very nice poem, I think the hardest person to analyze is often ourselves.

    • Thak you for your kind words, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Personally I find poetic analysis of the self both simple and impossible – simple in the fact you should know what you’re talking about, impossible in that you will never be truely representive – you will only ever show yourself in one light whether treating yourself as God-like or as lower than mud, or that may just be me.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  20. Great work here, you might as well have said “Leiffy, this is you”. The rhyming works well though it seemed a little truncated based off of the limited words but then I just like to talk about my despair a little too much. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thank you for your great words of praise Leiffy. Some of the lines probably are missing a word or two if you want to be grammatically correct, but I try and keep to 5 syllables per lines so some lines do end up like that.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  21. i feel a freak show….
    that list line really sticks. good one recluse
    http://belladonna23.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/sonnet-ix/

  22. I liked it.

  23. […] Thank you soooo much arbiters of Poet’s Rally Week 38  for The Perfect Poet Award! Thank you for appreciating my pawn LIFE IS A GAME OF CHESS! Checkmate…I won! And I nominate Lonely Recluse! […]

  24. Beautiful, written about something we’re all scared of. BEing taken out of our comfort zone is never enjoyable.

  25. it would have been very hard emotionally to leave I think. could feel ur emotions LR. I hope those “freak show” feelings subside soon…

    • It was both easy and hard, easy that it was over quickly, hard due to the aftermath. I’m glad I got my feelings across. Thank you for the hope Leo, sadly it will take a change from others and not in myself for the feeling to go.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  26. You are your unique self. I can sense the inner turmoil. It was very well illustrated. Thanks for sharing!

    • Wow, it’s a blast from the past to re-read this, you’re looking far back. I wrote this just after I’d had my hair cut off (from long to a 2 all over), I almost couldn’t recognise myself in the mirror, and I didn’t like it. Glad you enjoyed it.
      The Lonely Recluse.

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