To One Unknown

A nice fairly romantic yet mournful poem for you, fairly uncommon for me to be anywhere near romantic so hope you enjoy it anyway.

.

If I were an actor

and you my stage

What a play we’d make

it’d be all the rage.

.

But I’m no artist

and you’re my nothing

So there’s no theatre

and no great applause

.

If you were a painter

and I your model

What a masterpiece

and what a great life

.

But you’re no Da Vinci

and I no Mona Lisa

So there is no art

and we stay apart

.

If we were together

and never strayed far

We’d both be so happy

and would never fall away

.

But you are unknown

and we have never met

Yet for you I shall wait

and stay faithful my heart.

.

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.

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~ by The Lonely Recluse on May 18, 2011.

68 Responses to “To One Unknown”

  1. Yes, a little mournful but still romantically hopeful. You do romantic pretty well TLR! This was very sweet.

  2. A wonderful romantic poem with a surprise twist. Thank you for sharing!

    • Shame that it should be a surprise that someone would wait for love, instead of just screwing round before, or is that just me? Anyhow, glad ou enjoyed it, and thank you for your kind words.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  3. cool sentiments,

    despite that fact both are unknown, faith is the key to bond.

    Thanks for sharing…

    • Indeed, faith is instrumental to all things in life, without faith we are nothing, especially in love. Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for your kind compliments.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  4. It’s very sad and very romantic. I shouldn’t say it’s lovely, but, it has a lovely quality to it.

    • Thank you thingy, your words are too kind. Things can be both sad and lovely at the same time, for example Poe’s “The Raven” is both lovely and sad, lovely that he loved Lenore so much, sad that he shall never see her again (if the raven is indeed correct). Glad you enjoyed it.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  5. “But you are unknown

    and we have never met

    Yet for you I shall wait

    and stay faithful my heart.”

    And that right there sealed the deal for me. The longing for the unknown “What if?”. So very nicely done.

  6. wow I really like this one! so sweet of you to wait 🙂

    • If you wait then you don’t get battered about like those who don’t wait. To wait=fewer scars (that and it’s going to take a special sort of person to accept and love (agape – true love, not eros – romance) me. Glad you like it bendedspoon, always nice to hear your view.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  7. It might not be an eternal wait I think.. Hopefully romantic post!

    My Post Is Here

    • I’m no prophet so I’m not going to try guess whether it’ll be an eternal wait, other than pointing out my pen-name is a good reason it could take a long time to end.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  8. Great use of extended metaphor and patter. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  9. Well done, i mean it, i dwell in the darkness of reclusion as well. A hopeless Romantic like yourself. I was touched by your work deeply it was very good. It was a pleasure to meet you and i personally look forward to reading your future posts in the rallies to come

  10. I DID enjoy! Thank you. Untouchable love, great job!

  11. Brilliant role play!! I was just going down the lines and simply amazed with your choice characters and the art flow!

    Happy Rally

    • I wanted to make it readable from either a male (as written) or female point of view, hence the change in gender role in the first and second stanza pairs. I’m glad you enjoyed it and am greatful for your gracious words, a happy rally to you also.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  12. so sad and so beautiful

  13. It’s romantic one moment and the other moment so cruel 😛 ..but the last stanza said it all..Superb!

    Alcina

    • A different interpritation to my own, but I suppose thats because I view honesty as honesty not cruelty, but interpritation is the beauty of poetry is it not? Glad you enjoyed it Alcina.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  14. lovely!

  15. I love the optimism that stitches the poem together. Lovely =)

  16. Hey! Hey! I cannot summon up the proper words to justify this poem. It touched me and the simplicity of the subject just amazed me. Lonely hearts until……

  17. we are all in the waiting … loved your work.

  18. i thought it could have been a bit better since i felt it needed a bit more of life in it..

  19. Wonderful comparisons holding such depth… thanks for you comments. You really understood the heart of my poem.

  20. this is lovely, especially the part about the painter

  21. Great write! I loved the optimist hint of dour!

  22. how beautiful… I love this

  23. romantic wait.. wishing you that someone meets you soon.. Here is my rally post, ~ come on idiot, you are for me ~

    ! Happy Sunday !

    Someone is Special

  24. There is music when your heart beats. When two hearts beat to the same exciting rhythm there is hope and joy, electricity in the air, and excitement that lasts.
    I enjoyed your poem.

    • It shall take many moons at the least before the sonorous, melancholic music of my heart strings is matched. but still I wait in patience. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the kind words, and intresting comment.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  25. “never met, yet we wait” ouch!!! strong hope, big faith 🙂
    enjoy the rally!

    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/rest/

  26. I truly understand the connection between to individuals, nice poem

  27. Faithfulness to one unseen…a difficult and yet strangely liberating thought. Thank you for sharing this poem.

  28. I can relate to this, and your words sum up the feelings between two individuals perfectly. I especially like:

    “But you’re no Da Vinci

    and I no Mona Lisa

    So there is no art

    and we stay apart”

    Beautiful. Keep writing.

    • It’s good that you can relate, always a sign for me that my poems hit a mark. I’m glad the poem is so accurate to the feelings as I don’t have much experience in the field. Thank you for your kind compliments.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  29. Aww, how sweet. I liked “you’re my nothing” because it could be read so many different ways.

  30. wow….love the comparisons which arrn’t. enjoyed reading it…and very nice !!! thnks for sharing.

  31. Hi. Thanks for this poem.
    Though I must admit after reading
    “If I were an actor
    and you my stage
    What a play we’d make
    it’d be all the rage.”

    …which I really liked, I was surprised not to find the same rhyming scheme throughout. Yet, I do like the “examples” you give in this poem and it probably would not have been authentic to force a rhyme scheme 😀

    • To be honest I had noticed that rhyme untill you’ve pointed it out :). I wrote this intending it to be more or less totally free verse, most my poetry normally follows strict structure, especially in rhyming, so I wanted to try something with the boudaries. Thank you for your thought provoking comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  32. Very deep! Beautiful sentiment and your words have grace. You’ve created a feeling for the reader of curiosity! Reading your poem, I’d want to…..open the door, where are they?
    Really nice work!

    • Thank you for your kind and gracious words, I am truly glad you enjoyed the poem. I am here, and her – her I don’t know where she is. I might or might not know her, either way I do not truly know her if you see what I mean.
      The Lonely Recluse.

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