A piece of prose that is an extract from a psychiatric interview with a man “addicted” to killing as to the start of his addiction.

WARNING – This short story contains mention of rape, as well as mention and scenes of torture and violent murder. If you do not wish to read such things then please stop here and do not carry on. You have been warned.


To kill is to live, or it is for me at least. It’s an addiction, a dependency, just to see the fading of their eyes as their soul vacates the premises. The feel of their lifeblood, or the rope, or whatever on my hands as they die. That’s why I’m a hitman. The best.

It all started off when I was a teenager. Somehow at some point I just understood how easy it would be to kill and that I could easily stomach it, but I had no reason to act on it for a long time.

When I was in my mid twenties my niece was raped. The rapist was found and released due to “lack of evidence” the fact it was a copper wasn’t even mentioned. I wouldn’t have done anything really, but then the fool walked past me smugly, he knew who I was, had seen me in court, and he just walked past grinning at me, knowing that most people would do nothing, thinking I would do nothing. But he got that wrong. It is said that rage burns like a fire, that it is loud and foolish, not for me. When I saw him, I went cold, calculating, silent. I turned and followed this rapist, this abuser of power. I followed him till we were alone. He went down soundlessly as I smashed a bottle across his temple.

When he woke he found he was strapped to a table with a mirror suspended above him. He could see his filthy, evil body strapped down, naked. He tried to scream against the gag but could not. I will not bore you with an account of all the tortures I inflicted as recompense for my niece and for any other victim there may have been. But I will say they were extensive and painful, both physically and psychologically. When I was done with my retribution I knew I would have to stop him from ever offending again. I had read of an old death sentence meant to humiliate the offender and thought it was appropriate. It was called the “woman’s death” for it was a gruesome emulation of a woman’s period. What happens is the genitalia of the offender are removed and they are left to bleed to death. That is what happened to the rapist. I burnt the corpse and ground his teeth, then scattered the ashes into an old canal. He was only ever declared “missing”.

And that was when I acquired my addiction. I knew that I would need to kill again, so I decided to make a job of it. Now I am a hitman.


Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.


~ by The Lonely Recluse on June 4, 2011.

6 Responses to “Hitman”

  1. He certainly enjoyed his work.

  2. Do you know of the Showtime series called “Dexter”? You’ve pretty much described him. Dexter Morgan is a Miami Metro Police Department blood spatter analyst who turns murderer. He tries to maintain his “normal guy” facade on one hand but is a brutal, meticulous hunter and killer of the bad guys that happen to evade the justice system on the other. This show is very graphic–and fascinating!

    • I have heard of Dexter, but I have never watched it, so it is not meant as him. My man varies in one very important aspect to Dexter from your synopsis – my man doesn’t stop being a killer. Thank you for your comment. I shall have to try Dexter out.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  3. Nice and evil. Well done. I also made an association to Dexter. If you get a chance, watch it. As a copper for 37 years (never a rapist), I can state that it is the most accurate portrayal of a serial killer I’ve ever seen. Serial killers usually are psychopaths–they feel nothing for anyone. During their childhood, most suffered from the big three: bed-wetting, animal cruelty and arson. They don’t mention that in Dexter’s background.

    • I was actually trying more for offhand than downright evil, but I’ll settle for evil. Sorry about the copper as the rapist, I needed a reason for him to get off free, and plenty of people will happily believe a copper could do, so it fit my need wel enough. This character although displaying some features of psychopathy or sociopathy was not written to be a straight up psychopath, I tried to write him as a more ambiguous “Yeah he’s definitely got some form of antisocial personality diorder, but which one” type character, hence the lack of any of the big three in the description of his childhood – the lack of one is probably a better term – the idea that it was only in his teens that he “became” “insane” which fits schizophrenia closer to psychopathy, though he certainly isn’t schizophrenic. Basically I’m trying to say the labels don’t work.
      The Lonely Recluse,

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