A while ago I wrote a diary extract for someone similar to me ( ) here is another diary extract from our nameless writer.


There is a chaos that dances in me, a form of madness if you will. It leaves me two choices on what to do, should I fight it, deny this me and make a new one, one without the chaos, or at least with it suppressed. Or should I embrace it, as I do at the moment. I feel I should embrace it, but that would leave me with a problem. The chaos shows in three facets in my mindset. Sardonic amusement, desolate melancholy and silent rage. The facets shift in me as randomly as the chaos they are spawned from. With each facet comes a fear. Fear that others will not see the humour in the world. Fear that I shall be alone evermore. Fear that the rage will not be contained. So I wonder should I continue to embrace the chaos with the danger that it consumes, or should I fight it and become someone else?


Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.

~ by The Lonely Recluse on June 18, 2011.

7 Responses to “Chaos”

  1. There are 3 other choices. Family support, counselling and prescribed medication. Any or all combinations are weapons to fight with.

    • All three of those choices are one form or another of ignoring the chaos. I know well enough that our diary writer would not touch medication, for he does share some of my traits, and I know pleanty of people who have been perscribed pills for mental “illnesses”, and have said that it is better off the pills, if you don’t know where your mind ends and the pill begins, that is no life.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  2. OK

    • I do apologise, my reply came across a bit sharper than it was intended. I just happen to have fairly strong views on many aspects of “mental illness” (as can be shown by the use of “” whenever I say the term).
      The Lonely Recluse.

  3. No apology needed. I’m thankful for the results of the 3 I mentioned. Just like there are 3 sides to a coin. smiles… I hope your friend finds the answers they are looking for.

  4. Madness is life. Mutability makes it better.

    • In Humanity abides insanity, to claim sanity is just vanity, as I once put it. To have a quiet insanity does make it easier but we all have to live with it one way or another.
      The Lonely Recluse.

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