A Hooded Figure On A Dark Rainy Night

I was walking home fairly late at night, not too long ago and some idiot driver sped past, horn blaring, and I thought why is there never a copper around when you need one, and why do these muppets never get their comeuppance. As I thought that, this story kind of knitted itself together.

.

BEEEEEEPPPPPPP.

The car horn blared as the two teenagers flipped V’s at the hooded figure walking down the rain swept pavement. They were going way over 50 at night in a 20 zone. The hooded man looked up and grinned at the teenagers, what they saw horrified them. The man’s eyes were blood red and his canines tapered to sharp points. He started running towards them, the car sped up as the driver started to panic. The figure gained on them, they sped faster still, until they ran a red light into a busy cross road and were broadsided by a lorry.

When the driver awoke from his coma – over a week after the accident, he was still terrified. He babbled on about vampires chasing him in the night, even though CCTV and eyewitness testimonies said there was no one on the road except his car, and that he just kept on speeding for seemingly no reason. Ever after he was chased in his mind by a hooded figure on a dark rainy night.

.

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.

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~ by The Lonely Recluse on August 27, 2011.

10 Responses to “A Hooded Figure On A Dark Rainy Night”

  1. thats actually pretty cool. U should keep writing. 🙂

  2. That was quite interesting..i had to read very slowly to understand the whole..very cleverly woven.

  3. loved reading this a great short story xxjen

  4. this was filled with suspense, and makes a great short story … would be interesting to take it another few steps ….

    glad you were not injured in your journey in the night …

    • I wouldn’t know where to take it from there, or before there, I don’t really know who the main character would be, it was more meant as a self contained scene than something to build off. I may live in a rough area, but its not the roughest around, and I can handle myself well enough, though thank you for your concern. Glad you enjoyed the poem.
      The Lonely Recluse.

  5. I think I got lost when I got to the end. There were two teenagers and a hooded figure at first. Why did only a driver appear at the end?
    Slightly confusing, sorry about that. I re-read thrice but was still puzzled.

    I enjoyed the plot and the creepy atmosphere though. Perhaps you could consider writing more short stories, or stories with various parts 🙂

    • Yeah, I didn’t bother following up on the passanger at the end, he wasn’t the fool going 50 mph, I only really wanted to get the literary revenge on the driver, so only he was haunted afterwards, it was also supposed to be a bit confusing, only being a snapshot in life. Glad you enjoyed it, I have written several short (and not so) stories, most have been published, check out the “Prose” catagory.
      The Lonely Recluse.

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