A Ring A Ring O’ Roses

This was one of the ones that you get halfway through and realise you don’t know where you’re going with it, hence it being so rushed near the end.

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“A ring a ring o’ roses” The old nursery rhyme circled in my head as I looked at the body. She had been laid in a perfect ring of fresh red roses. They looked like expensive bouquets, each tied with a black ribbon.

“A pocket full of posies” Her pockets were stuffed with posies of roses and lilies

The body had been treated with respect as she had been readied for this presentation. She had been dressed in full Sunday best, not a single crease was to be found on her dress. The killer had taken his time to make her look perfect. How do I know? Because I killed her.

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Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.

The Lonely Recluse.

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~ by The Lonely Recluse on January 8, 2013.

2 Responses to “A Ring A Ring O’ Roses”

  1. Pardon me saying, but you could have done better. You could have shown more of a contrast between the images before the reveal and the idea after, just by making the descriptions seem more sad. Make it seem like a senseless murder by someone else, and then throw it out there that the guy had killed her. It’s a great piece, though.

    • I agree totally with you, I didn’t really know where I was going with it when I started writing it, so when I got to the line “a-tishoo a-tishho” I couldn’t think of anything to put, I gave up and finished it rather hurriedly, I never edit my writing, beyond changing a few words between writing it an typing it up. It certainly isn’t my best, or anywhere near it. Thanks for the comment.
      The Lonely Recluse.

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