Order

Laura is kindly hosting the dVerse Poet’s pub tonight, today’s prompt was the noun “order”, our relationship with order, how it turns up in our lives. An extra challenge was to use a formal poetic patterning, I played my own card on that last bit. Go check out what others have mused on “Order” https://dversepoets.com/2020/04/14/poetics-order-order/.
Laura reflected on the importance of order on the life and poetry of Elizabeth Jennings. It got me thinking of the role of order in my earlier poems, back when I needed to write poetry to vent the worst of the rubbish in my head, especially through the time I self-harmed, and how much the order of a formal pattern helped work through the thoughts and fit them onto a page. Since my self-harming was healed, I’ve not really needed the crutch of that formal, almost word game, mentality to my poetry, and that is exactly what this reflects upon

So much of my writing
Has been looking for order
‘midst my mind’s in fighting
As I danced on the border

Betwixt my death and life
Only scribbles could make sense
Could find strength ‘gaisnt the knife
When the world was oh so tense

But then I was let free
To soar away from the pain
I was allowed to be
Who I should be once again

I was allowed to be

Me

Free
Of the order that controlled
The venting
When my mind won the day
When ink stained paper

Free

Free
Of the chaos that defined my mind
The Venting
When addiction turned the world red
When blood stained my bed

Free

No longer playing
Mind games
With word games
Life games
To make
Order
Order
Order in the mind

No longer fearing
Thought patterns
Free-flowing
Free-wheeling
Free-forming
Free-versing
Freedom to be

Me

Because chaos and order
It was all in my head
As I danced on the border
Between living and dead

It is now that I can see
The two heads on one coin
It is now that I am free
The game I need not join

Because why should I play
When the game is clearly rigged
From order I can stray
Because I don’t need fear anymore

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

~ by The Lonely Recluse on April 14, 2020.

15 Responses to “Order”

  1. Again, a piece very powerful and personal. Only those who’ve traveled your roads, worn your shoes can fully understand the entire meaning of your poetic proclamation. The rest of us can send air hugs and white light.

  2. It is wonderful to be free, and be who you are meant to be! Our poetry and words do evolve as we grow, or not.

  3. I like the thought in the last two lines how one can stray from order because there is no need to fear.

    • When order becomes as much a prison to keep one in, as to keep the world out, then the order needs seriously questioning. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the comment
      The Lonely Recluse

  4. I’m glad you feel in a better place now.

  5. evidently the prompt touched a nerve and you have written your relationship with ‘order’ so vividly.
    I was struck by how close world/word relationship is for you
    “Only scribbles could make sense
    Could find strength ‘gaisnt the knife
    When the world was oh so tense”
    Thank you for joining in with this prompt
    p.s. I’m not being picky but ‘boarder’ is border and keeps a closer tie with order 🙂

  6. I love the balance between order… and the letting go and be free… maybe we need the back and forth between the two.

    • There is definitely a balance between order and chaos where neither control us, but we can freely dip into both. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the comment
      The Lonely Recluse

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