So apparently I disappeared for a while again, things got a bit busier than it has been for a while. Merril is hosting the dVerse prosery evening. She invited us to write no more than 144 words of prose including the line “We go in different directions down the imperturbable street”. Go check out what everyone else wrote for a pick-me-up after reading my cheery piece

We go in different directions down the imperturbable street. The world is changed in a few fleeting seconds.
You will always say it was never your fault. Life dealt you a bad hand. Life drove you to drink. The drink drove you to drive. The cat made you swerve. It was never your fault.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You’re alive, life still drives you.
I’m not. A few seconds, that was all it took. A swerve. Bouncing over a bonnet. flying down a street until the asphalt stopped my head. Stopped my heart. Nothing drives me anymore. You drove the life out of me. The ambulance was too late. You never even stopped, just kept on driving.
We went in different directions down the imperturbable street, but one of us will never go down it again. Only the street remains unchanged. Imperturbable.

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

~ by The Lonely Recluse on June 8, 2020.

26 Responses to “Imperturbable”

  1. Oh gosh! This is powerful–and the fact that this type of thing occurs so often makes it even more tragic.

  2. A sad story but wonderfully done! The prompt sentence was seamlessly woven in.

  3. Excellent use of the prompt line.

  4. Nice description using “drive”: “Nothing drives me anymore. You drove the life out of me.”

  5. A great write, intriguing in that it speaks with the voice of the victim. Very clever.

    • Yeah, it was one of those pieces that just wrote itself, I’d intended a deal of some form, but apparently I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed it

  6. I hope he can hear her words-over and over haunting his mind.

  7. Oh! That was a tough one. Beautifully written, though.

  8. Like Ken’s, starting with the prompt line has driven your piece. I like the way you built up to the main event in the second paragraph, and love the narrative twist – the dead telling the story – and the sentence ‘You drove the life out of me.’

  9. A car can be a weapon….we need to remember that. (K)

  10. Such a tragedy, so well narrated, by the victim.
    Have a good week, stay safe


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