Insomnia
A poem I mostly wrote while awake due to insomnia.
Insomnia
Tick
Sleepless once again
Tock
Every night the same
Tick
Sitting awake for hours
Tock
My life it devours
Tick
Why can I not sleep
Tock
It near makes me weep
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Tick
The hours go past
Tock
The calm never to last
Tick
My mind it does race
Tock
Daft thoughts it does chase
Tick
I wish it would stop
Tock
To sleep I could drop
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Tick
My life it does drain
Tock
My mind it does pain
Tick
Rest is what I need
Tock
My soul it would feed
Tick
My body does waste
Tock
Sleep I need with haste
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Tick
Can it not give up
Tock
Let sleep fill my cup
Tick
Please let me survive
Tock
On sleep let me thrive
Tick
Let go of my life
Tock
Stop giving me strife
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Tick
Help the doctor can’t
Tock
Or could it be shan’t
Tick
Says there is no cure
Tock
Of that he is sure
Tick
Tablets he won’t give
Tock
To help let me live
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Tick
How did it begin
Tock
Can I ever win
Tick
Could it be a curse
Tock
To make me feel worse
Tick
Shall I just pretend
Tock
Can it ever end
Tick
Tock
Goes the clock
.
Hope you like it, please comment.
The Lonely Recluse.
The Lonely Recluse
The Lonely Recluse 
Nicely done, and an interesting way to present the great arrangement of the words.
Many thanks A.B. Thomas, your comment is much appreciated.
The Lonely Recluse.
love your word choices.
beautiful flow…
you have got talent here, welcome to attend poets rally week 35, where you share your poetry and make new poetic friends…poetry awards are assigned upon completion.
let me know when you are ready.
Merry Christmas…
keep writing…
Many thanks Jingle, I am honoured to be seen as good enough to attend even if I do not see myself as good enough. Merry Christmas to you also.
The Lonely Recluse.
[…] The lonely recluse:https://lonelyrecluse.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/insomnia/ […]
Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 35 Participants | Promising Poets' Parking Lot said this on December 16, 2010 at 11:36 pm |
welcome in…
everyone starts new, your skill is cool.
hope that you have fun visiting others..
let me know after you made a minimum 18 comments to participants..
I shall atempt to reach the minimum as quick as possible but it may take a few days, even with insomnia I seem to have so little time. Once again my thanks for thinking I’m good enough. May I suggest another poet who should be here – especially ahead of me? If so then jaswrites’ blog http://jaswrites.wordpress.com/ should certainly be there. Again thanks for seeing me as acceptable.
The Lonely Recluse.
I have the same problem, but my doctor gives me tablets!
Mine did at first but then I saw a different doctor who wouldn’t, to be honest I’m glad I’m not having to pop pills, I don’t like the idea of the addictive nature of sleeping tablets – I’m already a caffine fiend :).
The Lonely Recluse.
I loved the poem…rhythm of the clock’s ticks and tocks through the journey. Enjoyed this allot and thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your gracious comment, I’m glad you like the clock rhythm, I’ve got to admit that its my favourite part of any of my poems, but that isn’t saying much really :).
The Lonely Recluse.
Ha! It must be a disease of poets. I wrote one a while back with the same title. I left a comment on how I deal with the formatting issue. Hope it helps. I bet you end up posting more than twice a week.
Thanks for your comment on my poem. I have a science background too but faith is first and I don’t really see a contradiction. Have fun with your blog and get some sleep.
Victoria
Poetry isn’t my strong point sadly, especially not getting it down onto page or screen, so I need to keep a constant reserve to make sure I don’t go silent. There is no true contradiction between science and faith as they ask different questions, faith asks Why? and science asks How? I hope I can get sleep.
The Lonely Recluse.
Oh, how I can relate to this piece! I’m sure I’ll be reading this particular one over and over on my own sleepless nights. I’m looking forward to perusing your other work.
Many thanks for the kind compliments. It seems to be the curse of poets does insomnia, as was pointed out in one of the earlier comments. Again thanks for the kind compliments.
The Lonely Recluse.
I know this one well..
Not anymore- I sleep good now. Just a bit of self assurance and it yields wonderful results with time.. 🙂
Hope you get to sleep well
Love xx
Thanks for the good wishes :).
The Lonely Recluse.
This was a painful read…draggy thus bringing to light the suffering I guess. Thanks again 🙂
Night!
I hope that I can take that as a compliment? Not that it really matters seeing as one cannot improve without being critiqued.
I understand. I sleep every other night.
Thank you for your understanding, I pray that sleep comes your way.
The Lonely Recluse.
I can’t sleep either!! Love your use of words. I like it 🙂
Thanks for the kind words ,I’m glad you like it.
The Lonely Recluse.
Reading this, I could feel myself lying awake at night desperately wanting to sleep but my mind refusing to rest.
Your words are kind and gracious. That you feel the desperation of insomnia shows my words have done their job, again thank you.
The Lonely Recluse.
when i read your poem, I can feel your insomnia…
tick tock thing is really interesting
Truely for you to feel my insomnia shows that my task was successful. Thank you for the kind comment.
The Lonely Recluse.
Hope you will sleep well soon! Good poem!
Maybe counting the tick tocks of the clock might help?
Thank you for your good wishes and kind words, they are muchly appreciated.
The Lonely Recluse.
I don’t have insomnia, but through your words, I can feel your frustration! Your writing style is great, the repetition of “tick tock” is effective in drawing the reader in.
Thank you for your kind words, I am glad my frustration comes across for that is what I set out to do. It delights me to hear that you like my style and especially the tick tocks.
The Lonely Recluse.
Reading this scares me into a state of virtual insomnia:)
I think I’ll take that as a compliment :).
The Lonely Recluse.
The composition of the poem creates a great framework for the slowing down of time that insomnia creates and the emphasis of each though. I enjoyed reading this piece, thank you!
No thank you for your kind words. I’m glad the concept has worked for you and am glad that you have enjoyed it.
The Lonely Recluse.
This just drew me in, pure magnetism.
These words overjoy and assure one who does not trust in their own words. I thank you for that.
The Lonely Recluse.
This was good, really good
Glad you enjoyed it.
The Lonely Recluse.
this was dope! Great word arrangement.
Many thanks.
The Lonely Recluse.
Less is definitely more- taking the advice of Charles Bukowski and Peter Bakowski, I’d suggest to you to try and encapsulate what it is you’re trying to say in a few strong lines rather than a lot of diluted ones. I’d also suggest thinking about ways you can build in the rhythm of the ticking clock without necessarily having a literal ‘tick-tock’ running through it. A really interesting idea for a poem, however. Keep writing!
Admittedly I do agree that I went a bit overboard with stanzas (origionally there was only the first stanza but I got complained at on yahoo answers for it being too short so I added 5 more), if you read any of my other poems I don’t often go anywhere near as long as I did with Insomnia. Thank you for the criticism and the compliments, both are needed to make improvements.
The Lonely Recluse.
I like it 🙂 it’s nice and very rythmic! 🙂 I have insomnia too.Hence i write all my poems at night
Yeah it is one positive of insomnia, most my poems come to me at night. Thank you for your kind compliments.
The Lonely Recluse.
Pretty and something everyone can relate to.
Than you very much.
The Lonely Recluse.
damn those long sleepless nights. i just hate that sound of the clock, as if our lives are slipping trough our fingers in fractions of a second. very well expressed
Thank you for your kind words.
The Lonely Recluse.
That is amazing, that’s exactly how it feels when I can’t sleep which happens more than I like. A restless sounding poem, a sleepless sounding poem. Interesting, wonderful.
Glad that the restlessness and feeling of sleeplessness was convayed to you in this poem. Insomnia happens to me far more than I like (ie every day [eg it is 3 a.m. as I write this]). Thank you for the kind words.
The Lonely Recluse.
[…] The lonely recluse:https://lonelyrecluse.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/insomnia/ […]
The Celebrate Poet of 2010 Awards Nomination Announcement | Promising Poets' Parking Lot said this on December 23, 2010 at 7:35 pm |
loved it!
Thank you greatly for your kind comment.
The Lonely Recluse.
[…] The lonely recluse:https://lonelyrecluse.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/insomnia/ […]
Outstanding Poetry From Outstanding Poets | Promising Poets' Parking Lot said this on December 27, 2010 at 4:54 am |
took my breath away, intense and passionate.
Not the comment I would have expected for the poem, but a truly inspiring comment for a poor poet.
The Lonely Recluse.
Wow. I really Love your poems. This particular one, I could relate to. I guess everyone suffers from insomnia. Though the eyes are closed, they know no sleep. They are constantly peeking into the mind and looking at dreams.
Very well expressed.
-Hatter
I’m truely honoured by your astounding compliment. Insomnia does seem to be poet’s bane yet poet’s gift as with many poets I know it is the time their best works come. There is a difference between standing on the border betwixt lands and being firmly stuck in the wrong one, sadly my insomnia is the latter. Again I’m glad you enjoyed it.
The Lonely Recluse.
I’m sitting in a cafe called Insomnia in Hillsboro, Oregon, USA. This poem was the perfect bit of reading for the moment. Your plight is my plight, thanks for showing it well.
An intresting sounding place, a shame it is whole continents away from visiting. Your words are high praise and as such deserve high thanks, as does the subscription, so thank you greatly for both.
The Lonely Recluse.
London Too
http://kshawnedgar.wordpress.com/2011/02/28/london-too/
Nice poem but you don’t need to advertise your poetry on my blog.
The Lonely Recluse.