I Wear My Smile Like Armour

This poem comes from three strands, so hopefully has the same strength a three strand rope has (or maybe I’m just being hopeful).
The first strand is the prompting line “I wear my smile like armour”, it was buried in my phone’s notepad, so I don’t know if it is an original line, or something I read somewhere, but it is the start.
The second strand is my job, I work in retail. I think that speaks for itself.
The third strand is the form. This poem is a pantoum (click the link for wikipedia’s entry). I was introduced by this amazing form by debatablydateable’s fantastic poem “War Cry” (go read it, it’s awesome), and I had to try one out for myself. In short a pantoum is a poem where the 2nd and 4th lines of a stanza make the 1st and 3rd lines of the next, until in the final stanza the 2nd and 4th lines are the 1st and 3rd of your original stanza (read the wiki article, it’s clearer).
And the final part of today’s ramble, this poem is part of dVerse’s Open Link Night, so go check out the other amazing offerings.

I always am the charmer
When faced with your childish rage
I wear my smile like armour
As I dance upon my stage

When faced with your childish rage
I wish I had stayed in bed
As I dance upon my stage
I shall bleed all you have said

I wish I had stayed in bed
Here I am playing for you
I shall bleed all you have said
For all of the bile you spew

Here I am playing for you
I always am the charmer
For all of the bile you spew
I wear my smile like armour

As always, I hope you enjoy, and please do comment, it makes my day.
The Lonely Recluse

P.S. Apparently it’s my 10 year anniversary on WordPress, so (un)happy (for some) decade of my poetics

Midnight draws near

I really should go to sleep earlier, save my brain chewing on itself

Midnight draws near
And I’m sitting here
Questioning it all
With nothing clear

I’m looking back
At the course I tack
Will I leave this fog
And find a track

I sit and write
I’m scribing a light
To just spot my feet
And blind the night

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

The Void Stares Back

It’s Quadrille time with dVerse today, so on with a 44 word poem. De challenged us to write a poem with possibilities. My mind decided to take a bit of a darker wander for this one. Go check out the fantastic poets who’ve written other possibility laden posts https://dversepoets.com/2020/11/16/quadrille-116-poem-those-possibles/

The word possibility
Loses all credibility
As the void stares back
Darkly
Starkly
Odd civility
Leading you on
Madness
Sadness
Knowing your own fragility
There is no
Retuning
Yearning
Too late learning
That the void stares back
And the word possibility
Loses all credibility

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

The Writer’s Soundtrack

Apparently I’m back. Sorry for the absence, life got in the way.

Peter over at dVerse set out the was talking about sound in poetry. He set a challenge to write a poem that let sound ring out. With my break from writing I’ve gotten a bit rusty (yet again), and ended up writing the sound of my trying to write. Go check out the fantastic entries folk have given for us to hear https://dversepoets.com/2020/10/22/mtb-let-your-words-ring-out/

Scritch scratch
Scritch scratch
Scritch scratch
Sigh
Rrrrriiippppp
Wrinkle, crinkle, crumple
Sigh
Scritch scratch
Scritch scratch
Scritch scratch
Sigh
Tap tap tap tap tap tap
Click
Sigh

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment.
The Lonely Recluse

Smash

So dVerse is celebrating its 8th anniversary, and Brian has invited folk to write a poem that captures a moment, here’s my take on the prompt. Go check out what moment others have chosen to capture https://dversepoets.com/2020/07/14/dverse-poetics-8th-year-anniversary/

For a fragment of a second
Milliseconds stand as hours
The world stands still
As realisation dawns
That nothing can be done
And everything
Tips
And

Falls

 
Down

 

Down

 

 

Down
Smash
There goes my favourite glass

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

Bandaid

So a friend ghosted me the other day. Here’s my dealing with that. Posted to dVerse’s OLN, check out what others have written https://dversepoets.com/2020/06/25/open-link-night-269/.

A bandaid
Used
When times were too hard
Then you’re ready to discard
Me
When things become easy

Now I am
Left
Wondering what went wrong
Or what went
Right
If I ever helped the fight

Or did I
Just
Keep you bleeding
Just making things
worse
Some sort of curse?

Did you wake
Up
And smell the truth
Is that why you’re now
Aloof
Ghosting me?

Is there your
Blood
On these my hands
Or was I just used in the
Flood
Of now receding chaos?

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

Carnival of Grum

So another week roles around, and with it comes another quadrille invite at dVerse, this time hosted by Mish, who suggested that poets may have a habit of beating their own drum. Well, after I’ve had the chance to beat my drum by writing a poem with the word “drum”, go check out everyone else beating their drums https://dversepoets.com/2020/06/15/quadrille-106/

This is inspired by a mixture of reading Catherynne M Valente’s Orphan’s Tales, and the conversations with an author friend (go check her out https://mariellahunt.com/ ). Maybe I’ll get round to writing some prose about the carnival of Grum some day, then again maybe not. Who knows. For now, here is an invite at least

Come one, come all to the carnival of Grum
Lose yourself to the beating of the drum
The wonders you will see if only you will come
Fairies and goblins are far from humdrum
Take your chance, lose yourself at the carnival of Grum

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

Unknown

After reflecting to someone in yesterday’s comments that I should write more cheery stuff… Laura invited the folk at dVerse to bring a deceased person back to life. A deceased person we don’t know, whose name we found on a headstone. A quick google later and I’ve ended up with a not cheery piece. Go check out the folk others have brought to life https://dversepoets.com/2020/06/09/poetics-back-to-life/

Photo credit https://www.memphisflyer.com/AskVanceBlog/archives/2010/06/20/embury-methodist-churchs-odd-gravestones

 

Unknown, unremebered, unmissed
Yet I have a stone to my namelessness
Sad marker of life forgotten
Unmourned by fam’ly, lover, anyone

Yet once I live
Breathed
Made my ripples in the pond of life
A stone
Vibrant. Colourful. Alive.
Everything was going for me
Until it wasn’t
All it took was a change of fortune
The wheel shifted
I fell

Down

Down

Down

Ripples ended
Colours faded
Everything dimmed
But life held on
Barely.

And then even the

Beep

Beep

Beep

Of life holding on
Faded

Beeeeeeeeeeep

Silence.

 

Forgetfulness
The ripples stopped
Just as the breathing stopped
Just as life stopped
And I was gone

Unknown, unremebered, unmissed
Yet I have a stone to my namelessness
Sad marker of life forgotten
Unmourned by fam’ly, lover, anyone

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

Imperturbable

So apparently I disappeared for a while again, things got a bit busier than it has been for a while. Merril is hosting the dVerse prosery evening. She invited us to write no more than 144 words of prose including the line “We go in different directions down the imperturbable street”. Go check out what everyone else wrote for a pick-me-up after reading my cheery piece https://dversepoets.com/2020/06/08/prosery-monday-different-directions/

We go in different directions down the imperturbable street. The world is changed in a few fleeting seconds.
You will always say it was never your fault. Life dealt you a bad hand. Life drove you to drink. The drink drove you to drive. The cat made you swerve. It was never your fault.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it? You’re alive, life still drives you.
I’m not. A few seconds, that was all it took. A swerve. Bouncing over a bonnet. flying down a street until the asphalt stopped my head. Stopped my heart. Nothing drives me anymore. You drove the life out of me. The ambulance was too late. You never even stopped, just kept on driving.
We went in different directions down the imperturbable street, but one of us will never go down it again. Only the street remains unchanged. Imperturbable.

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment
The Lonely Recluse

Settee

Laura over at dVerse has invited us to write a poem about a room or rooms. Seeing as I’m now sleeping on the settee I sit on most the day I thought I may as well write about the room I spend most my life in at the moment. Go check out what others have written https://dversepoets.com/2020/05/26/poetics-make-some-room/

.

Here am I

Four walls and a TV

A settee with a dent shaped like me

.

Death is nigh

Stalking outside the door

Yet staying at home seems such a chore

.

Still I try

To sit here staying still

And the knowledge of the world distil

.

So I fly

At the tip of a pen

Across a mountain and through a glen

.

Time goes by

And I find myself back

In this room each day I have to pack

.

Here am I

Four walls and a TV

A settee with a dent shaped like me

.

Hope you enjoy, please feel free to comment

The Lonely Recluse